Ask HN: Anyone homeschooling their kids?

OgsyedIE · 2026-09-02T10:40:57.000000Z

Adult and sibling socialization is not a substitute for peer socialization and adequate handling of it is the biggest factor separating success stories and not.

Although they have a bias that makes their attribution of positives and negatives imprecise, the list of top-upvoted posts of all time on the Reddit subreddit /r/homeschoolrecovery contains many examples to motivate wanting a success story and not a failure story.

It's not all doom and gloom. The success stories of homeschooling outperform even wealthy public schools in life outcomes and health, so the reward is there.

tobinfekkes · 2026-09-02T00:36:44.000000Z

I was homeschooled and will be homeschooling our kids (first one coming early January 2027!).

Game-changers for me growing up, that I think my parents did really well: - change the curriculum to match the kid (i.e. learning styles, difficulty, pace) - use the public schools for electives, sports, drama, etc (my siblings took music classes for 1 period each day, we all did school sports still, etc) - have strict (or at least structured) time constraints on homeschooling (i.e. don't let it drag into the whole day; we had to be up, dressed, breakfasted, and ready to start at 9am, and we needed to be done by noon and didn't get lunch until our school work was done).

brudgers · 2026-09-02T17:10:12.000000Z

and didn't get lunch until our school work was done

I am not surprised this is a salient childhood memory.

tobinfekkes · 2026-09-02T19:04:02.000000Z

It sounds like you're interpreting that in a way I didn't say or intend. In fact, the exact opposite. It was the culmination of my list of things I think my parents did really well.

It wasn't oppressive. It was disciplined. I learned more in 3 hours at home than I did my senior year going to public high school for 8 hours a day.

wbnns · 2026-09-02T00:41:32.000000Z

Congrats on the new one that's on the way and thanks!

stackghost · 2026-09-02T04:45:16.000000Z

I was a camp counselor in my late teens and early 20s, and we could always tell which kids were homeschooled. Always.

Jeremy1026 · 2026-09-02T13:14:36.000000Z

I couch youth sports, and same experience. It's getting better now that the kids are getting older (10-11). But when they were in 1st or 2nd grade, the home schooled kids were so far behind their teammates in social skills.

I only had one on my baseball team in the spring, while he was definitely not on the same level as the rest of the team socially, it could have just been that he is a shy kid by nature.

wbnns · 2026-09-02T13:33:44.000000Z

I've had the complete opposite experience, where adults often tell us they feel like our kids seem much older than their ages.

We lived in different countries where people speak a different language, during their earlier years, though, so maybe that also contributes to it.

Jeremy1026 · 2026-09-02T13:58:35.000000Z

It really comes down to the parents, like most things. If parents are heavily engaged, then the kids turn out more well rounded, regardless of where they go to school, public, private, or home.

I can also usually tell just based on the kids if their parents will be helpful or not. If I ask for a parent to help with setting up at the beginning of practice, or if an assistant coach can't make it and I need a hand, the way a kid acts is a pretty good indicator if their parent will get out of their chair on sidelines and come help.

There are outliers, but its a pretty good rule of thumb.

yoyohn · 2026-09-02T07:10:38.000000Z

Could you expand on this please?

In a positive or negative way?

stackghost · 2026-09-02T16:46:11.000000Z

In a negative way. They weren't bad children, just undersocialized.

The benefits of school go beyond what the teachers teach.

agcat · 2026-09-02T16:57:50.000000Z

But that problem can be solved.

stackghost · 2026-09-02T17:26:25.000000Z

It can be solved, yes. But it almost certainly won't be, in aggregate.

mpasternack-hn · 2026-09-01T23:59:15.000000Z

How old are your kids?

wbnns · 2026-09-02T00:13:02.000000Z

16, 13, and 7.

dhruv3006 · 2026-09-02T09:40:59.000000Z

i will be

wbnns · 2026-09-02T10:51:23.000000Z

We haven't ever regretted the decision to do it with our 3 kids.